It happens without notice. You realize you're lost in the fog. You are feeling unhappy and you begin to search. The problem itself doesn't matter as much as the universal feeling to be uncomfortable in the skin or feeling out of alignment. This feeling happens at midlife. It happens when you're at a cross roads or a life transition, or it happens when you're trying to create a small business and you enter that black pit of confusion as you hire one guru after another to greatly help rescue you from the drama. If any of this applies for your requirements, here are five ways to avoid the drama that's keeping you stuck.
Distinguish "the drama" from "your drama."
The Drama could be the gap between what you actually have and what you really want. "The drama" can also be the gap between who you actually are and who you genuinely wish to be. You are here, but you want to be there. You are single but you want to be married, or you wanted the promotion but got viewed again. Your home is in LA but you want to live in New York. You have a bachelor's degree but you will want master's degree and so on. The drama is simply the gap that represents the length between what you have and what you want. As soon as you distinguish "the drama" from "your drama" you are able to turn what was perceived as a failure into an opportunity for personal growth and emotional intelligence.Dramacool
Ask yourself this question: "Where would I be without my drama?"
We often use our personal "dramas" to create excuses for where we are rather than looking for solutions to go forward. For instance, I met a young man at the grocery store who said that he would love to become a fireman but he couldn't afford to go to college to get the mandatory two-year degree therefore he was stuck in work he didn't like and he perceived himself as a failure. The only failure he's really experiencing gets stuck in his drama, which is his a reaction to where he's versus where he desires to be. If he were to ask the question, "Where would I be without my drama?" he would find his solution and move forward. There are many solutions, which is often found by making other choices. Obtain a loan. Obtain a grant. Go part time. Save some money. Obtain a roommate. The only time we fail is whenever we give up. As soon as you ask this question you are able to get over failure. At minimum you will spend less time and energy on the perceived failure.
Create a new commitment
Ask yourself what you are actually committed to. Have you been committed to your drama or have you been committed to happiness? Once you obtain clear on your commitment you are able to overcome any obstacle. You try this by filling in the blank "I'm committed to_________." Then you definitely watch every thing you say and every thing you do to see if your actions and words line up with what you say you're committed to. We reveal our commitments through our choices, whether we give voice to our commitments or not. Here's a good example: In the event that you say you're committed to presenting a loving marriage, but allow your spouse to abuse after this you the real the fact is you're not committed to a loving relationship at all. Your actions show that you will be secretly committed to ensuring never to rock the boat. Or maybe your real commitment is to ensuring you don't make your partner mad, or you're unconsciously committed to sacrificing yourself in order to stay married at all costs. However, the commitment to "stay married" differs than the commitment to create a loving relationship. The requirements are very different for those two commitments. The options you make will tell you what you are truly committed to.
Much of that time period we make an unconscious commitment that involves changing other people. We can't change others but even as we get clear on our own commitment people often change anyway. The one with the strongest commitment rules the partnership and this is the simplest way to take full responsibility for any failure to turn it around for a confident outcome.
Utilize the "what if" technique
If you're still feeling stuck after working through the very first three exercises, try the "what if" technique. If you're able to suspend judgment for just one hour you are able to literally change your destiny. In the event that you rely on the "law of attraction" you need to know that how you feel determines what you get. And so the objective is to create yourself feel much better about any failure you're experiencing. You have to quit judging and instead take possibilities. You try this by saying "what if..." you then search for the positive aspects.
Examples include
· "What when there is a purpose in what just happened?"
· "Imagine if this had to occur in order that something really big could happen later?"
· What am I supposed to master?
· Imagine if I laugh about that five years from now?
· Imagine if I find a way to fairly share this so others will find comfort
Once you see the possibilities you begin the flow and turn your failure in to a huge chance for growth and success.
Regain your power
When you're feeling lost or confused you've lost your capacity to choose. If you want to be successful take full responsibility for your life. The manner in which you do this is to appreciate that of life is composed of little choices. Yes, there are circumstances that happen for your requirements, but in the end it's your choices that give you power or drain your energy. You gain power through making conscious choices and you lose power once you react out of an ingrained pattern or once you react because of some trigger that you haven't learned how exactly to control.
The simplest way to see when someone is in a prey pattern of thinking is once you ask the question, "What are your choices," and they answer, "I don't have any." Responsibility could be the recognition of choice. Real power comes in the capacity to choose. So long as one is ruled by unconscious reaction there is no freedom to choose.
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